That, my friends, is 17 completed ornaments. There are just enough materials left for Great Gran to make three more – she thinks they will be great money holders. It is time to move on to my Greater Christmas Knitting Destiny.

In an effort to avoid the trap of Too Many Knitted Gifts, I have always limited myself to one Official Knitted Present per year. This year, possibly as a direct result of finishing 17 Tiny Stockings before December, I have thrown caution to the wind and decided to make two (that’s right, TWO) presents. I will show them both to you because the Lucky Recipients rarely, if ever, read my blog.

Present #1 is a Mr. Dangly (as part of the Effort to Clone Mr. Dangly). I found this pattern while I was looking at the Zombies. Sadly, there is no Zombie pattern (I would pay Good Money for that). Here are the required ingredients for a Mr. Dangly Clone:

The Merino Style is in Cinnamon and Nutmeg.

Present #2 is a Lacy Scarf. I had a very different scarf planned when I ordered the yarn (K1C2’s Angora Soft) . When the description said “cabled” I did not realize that they meant Extremely Loosely Cabled, so I opted for a lighter pattern that I found while organizing Granmother’s Workbasket Magazines. I think it is going to be lovely.

The Angora Soft works up into a soft, crushable, light and delicate fabric. Unfortunately, it turns out I hate working with it. It’s way too easy to stick your needle right through those little cables and split the stitch. Once you pull one of those tiny plies out, it’s the Very Devil to get it to go back in neatly. Add to that the apparent organic matter that I have to pick out every now and then which also disrupts the plies and you get a Frustrating Experience. I mean, honestly, it’s only %15 angora to begin with! How filthy can %15 of a goat be? Maybe it’s the baby nylons who roll around in the fields collecting sticks and leaves in their delicate coats that causes this problem. However, I am a somewhat patient girl and I have plenty of time to finish up a Handle With Care Scarf. It is pretty.

One more thing! I sent Traci (who hasn’t been blogging lately but I’m linking anyway – she could start again any minute) a copy of this pattern (I checked with Bernat and they said that was fine) and she sent me:

TREATS

Thank you so much, Traci! I’ll share with you any time. Just so you know, the candy in this picture has already been consumed. It almost didn’t make it back from the mail box. A tenth of a mile is a long way, people.

I should have used the flash.

For those of you keeping count, I am now six socks short of my Stocking Quota. But I only have to make four more. It’s still All Good.

Instead of stockings, I finished M’s striped sock number one.

One ball of Parade does not make a complete man-size (10 1/2) sock. I only made a six inch leg since I am paranoid about yarn shortages (please see the previous entry) and I still ran out of yarn right at the toe. I used the green striped Parade that I got for myself to finish up. This is not a huge tragedy, I’ll just get three balls next time. I plan to make the second sock on our trip to Atlanta for M’s family’s Thanksgiving (last year was a Bay Minette year so this year it’s Atlanta). The people who are going to attend Thanksgiving are all stocking recipients, so I need a Travel Project.

I finished Mom and Great Gran’s pumpkins in time for Thanksgiving! Such as they are.

The top I made felted too small for my pumpkin and someone stole the vine (my source refused to name names). I have to make them again. Like that will ever happen.

Oh, M has worn his cardigan every day and it doesn’t have any pills yet! I, on the other hand, have worn my Gatsby sweater three times and there are already fluffy bits on the sides. They aren’t noticable to the casual observer since the yarn is so nubby weird, but I know the pills are there.

I had my second knitting lesson with Aunt Wendy and Kim on Wednesday. They learned to cast on and are working on a garter-stitch scarf.

Aunt Wendy is making hers long and skinny.

The yarn is Lion Brand Landscapes in a bunch of different colorways.

Kim’s is much wider. Maybe too wide but she refused to start over.

I ordered five different colors so that they could choose. I’ve got leftovers and I’m planning to order more (there will be other people who want to learn to knit) because I really like this yarn! It’s great for beginners: there are no plies to stick your needle through, it’s reasonably priced, and the colors change often so even a garter stitch scarf doesn’t get boring. Maggie (my cousin) also showed up and wanted to knit – we made a little felted purse about a year ago – so I cast on a scarf for her, too. She took it home in a ziplock and plans to knit in the car on the way to Atlanta today. We set a date for our next lesson (with luck they will have finished one ball and will be ready to attach another) and I think Kim’s daughter is coming. Aunt Wendy invited a lady from church. Maybe I’ll make muffins.

In between “What’s wrong?” and “Am I doing this right?” I worked on the first of the Parade socks.

Blue is for M!

See the froggy yarn wound around the outside? That’s enough to make a sock leg. I had ribbed it down to the heel, got worried about having enough to finish, pulled back to a 2.25″ cuff and am going in stockinette from there. Not like that’s going to magically create another 50 yards or anything (my purls aren’t that loose), but it seemed like a good idea last night. I can’t imagine why. I really like this yarn! I like that I can use #3s (my favorite sock needle size) but it’s still a sock yarn (it’s got nylon). So I don’t really mind making the leg again. I am hoping that Knit Picks adds this yarn in solid colors to their selection.

I will leave you with this Holiday Moment:

For those of you keeping count, I am two stockings short. I didn’t make my quota yesterday. I’ll try to do three today and tomorrow to make up for it. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of time!

I got the buttons on M’s cardigan Monday morning (after an 8 minute ride in the dryer). After getting M to try it on and declare his love for hand-knits, I prompty forgot about taking pictures. Until this morning when he was getting ready to leave.

Michael does not smile at 6:45 in the Morning.

I am very pleased with how this turned out! The crunchy Lamb’s Pride Superwash softens up during blocking to create a comfy fabric. I hope it wears well – I would really like to use this yarn again. While the cardigan turned out great, and looks like the picture, I think the designer could have done a better job with the instructions (Men’s V Neck Cardigan from Mari Sweaters). The pattern would be confusing for a knitter without prior Cardigan Experience: I often felt like I must be missing something and re-read the pattern looking for a piece of information that just wasn’t there. This alone isn’t enough to keep me from trying another of Mari’s designs (although when you combine it with the lack of a schematic and row counts instead of inches, I will think twice), the end result is a great looking sweater!

For Christmas ornaments this year, I chose to make the little stocking pattern from Oddball Knitting. With a couple changes.

The leg is only 14 rows long, the foot is 8 rows long and the cuff isn’t folded over. Since the white stuff is soooo fluffy (Caron’s Bliss), it’s easier (and neater) to knit the red part (Knitpicks’ Wool of the Andes) and then pick up around the cast on edge for the garter stitch cuff. There are six rows of garter stitch not counting the picked up row. If I make two stockings a day I should be finished by Thanksgiving. I think that’s reasonable, and it gives me time to work on other things. As long as they don’t require the #3 dpns.

Sunday and Monday.

When I set my Cardigan Deadline, I forgot to factor in Veteran’s Day Activities (and ironing pants to wear to aforementioned activities). Because of this miscalculation, I have finished at 4:30 instead of lunch-time. In my defense, it is still lunch-time in California. They eat Late Lunches there. I’ve seen them in movies.

The Cardigan is blocking on top of the Baker’s Cabinet (a Cat Free Zone). All that’s left is the buttons. I can say that without stress because I have them ahead of time for a change. They were purchased for another sweater but wouldn’t go through the holes thus becoming available for M’s Cardigan. This is what is known in Knitting Circles as Fate.

In an effort to finish M’s cardigan by next Tuesday (he asked ages ago if he could have it for Boulder), I’ve been knitting pretty much non-stop for two days. If I get it finished by lunch tomorrow, I have just enough time to block it before it’s time to pack. I will also have time to wash and iron the rest of his clothes for the trip.

I got the bands finished and attached after two tries to get the right one to match the left one. The pictures of this phase are too dark to post – the sun wasn’t up yet. That might also be why the right band gave me so much trouble. Or the trouble might have been because the Designer wanted me to knit 159 rows of band on each side (instead of however many inches), stretch it to fit all around the whole neckline (to keep the band from sagging), graft the two ends together, seam the sides and then magically attach the band to the still-live stitches of the back neck (she gives no indication of how to do this). I ended up treating the live stitches like bars of stockinette and didn’t pull the holder out until after they all were sewn to the band. Trust me, it looks fine.

Making the first sleeve wasn’t bad, if I don’t bring up the part about backing up a couple times during the short rows that shape the cap. I like the way the shoulder seam looks with the picked up stitches – sometimes shoulder seams end up so stiff and Obvious. But I don’t know if pretty shoulder seams are worth the wrist pain caused by having the ENTIRE SWEATER on the needles at one time. Add to that the frustration of not knowing how many inches the sleeve should be (no schematic and the Designer wants me to knit 195 rows who COUNTS their rows like that?) and you have yourself some Good Times. I finished one cuff early this morning and (feeling slightly paranoid about the length – I’d made it 10 rows shorter than the Designer told me too) went ahead and seamed up that sleeve and side.

Doesn’t it look freakishly long?

I woke M up and made him try it on. Which he did. I felt better after that: 10 rows too short was a great idea and it IS a Good-Looking Cardigan. So I’ve started the second sleeve.

With all this support, I’m sure I will be able to finish in time.

I thought it would be fun to make these felty pumpkins. I ordered the yarn last week (Knitpicks Wool of the Andes) so it would get here when Mom did. I thought Great Gran, Mom and I could all make one. I thought the pattern would be easy and fun. I thought, “Let’s give this felting thing one more try!”

Making the pumpkins wasn’t terrible. Mom had to learn to increase and make i-cord and Great Gran was mad about the wrong-side increases (she worked hers on the right side). We started out making the large pumpkins but they changed their minds after the first segment and wanted to make small pumpkins instead. Then they wouldn’t seam the stupid pieces. They would put one piece together half-way and then start working on whatever other project they had. Which left me to sew up all those pieces. They liked making the curly vines.

When everything was finished and all the ends woven in, I took everything home with me to felt. I said this was because my washing machine had hotter water but it was really because I didn’t think my Type A Mom should witness the felting. It would be far too traumatic. This is what what writers call Foreshadowing.

After checking the internet for directions (last page of my printed version was shredded by the cat), I stuffed the pumpkins with plastic Winn-Dixie bags and wound them all around with “waste” yarn to make the ridges. I decided to use acrylic (stop laughing) because it wouldn’t felt into the pumpkin and would be easier to get off.

That brown thing on the counter by the ‘fridge is M’s cardigan.

I carried everything to the garage and started the washing machine. I threw in bluejeans, a canvas sweatshirt, the pumpkin parts and some baking soda. I started the heavy-duty wash cycle, set the timer for 10 minutes and went into the house to read the paper. After 10 minutes, I returned to the garage and lifted the lid to see how things were going. The first thing I noticed was that baking soda gets very foamy. I’m not kidding. There was at least a three inch layer of foam in there. Huh, I thought, reaching in for a fat pumpkin body. What I came up with instead was a handful of sopping, foamy Winn-Dixie bags and chest pains. The stupid, slippery acrylic yarn had all come un-done, spilling the plastic pumpkin guts. My chest constricted in panic. Was it too late to fix? The short answer to that is “yes,” most of the felting had already happened, but I tried out of desperation anyway. I dragged the bags out of the washing machine in a murky waterfall that flooded the garage floor (the water inside had turned an inexplicable green), and out onto the driveway. Then I fished out the shapeless pumpkin shells. After wringing out the bags, I restuffed the pumpkins and wrapped them tightly with wool yarn, taking care to lace the yarn through the tops and knot it securely. Clothes completely soaked, I threw everything back into the washing machine for another 20 minutes. This time I stayed in the garage. As if somehow my damp and miserable proximity would help the situation. After 20 minutes I peaked into a washing machine that was full of meringue. I decided that those things weren’t getting any feltier and dragged them out of the mess (the foam formed “stiff peaks” as the pumpkins came out) back into the driveway to rinse.

The stems and vines look great.

The results are a little upsetting. There are some indentions but they don’t look as good as the picture. Maybe they’ll be cute when they’re dry…maybe Mom and Great Gran will forget that they made them and not ask about them again. Maybe I will never felt again.

Shapeless pumpkins are not the only disaster this week. I got the front and back of M’s cardigan together only to discover that the designer wanted me to knit the front bands BEFORE I joined the shoulders. I was not about to take out my perfect three needle bind-offs so I just draped the bulk of the sweater to one side and proceeded to knit the band. When I finished, I noticed that I had seven oddly-spaced button holes instead of the six evenly-spaced button holes that the pattern specified. I am now in the middle of Cardigan Band Two: the Reckoning.

To make this the Worst Knitting Week Ever, Mom finally put the edging on Elspeth and my Greatest Fears were confirmed. Too big in the neck. I KNEW I should have made the smaller one. I knew when I tried it on without the edging but I convinced myself that the crochet would “draw it up a little”. Now I have to unravel all of that lace (incidentally, the directions are not at all like the picture, thank you Rowan) and unseam the sweater. I am NOT going to redo the front and back pieces. I REFUSE to pull out all that patterning. What I am going to do instead is unravel the sleeves and make them decrease more sharply so that they are two inches smaller at the top. Since the sleeves are part of the neck edge, this should make it smaller around. I hope.